What hurts me the most is being rejected by those that I love… my family, my friends, and I lose them. After a while, I learnt to brush it off… All the negative comments I receive on the street hurt me because when I look around at other people, I’m there on my own, I don’t have a partner, and the society doesn’t accept me. I have been told that I was born not normal like other heterosexual males or females. That hurts me deeply too, and I have to learn how to deal with that.
I used to think of that as rejection but I have learnt to accept the reality that no matter what I do, there will people out there who won’t accept me or respect my decision just because I want to be who I am. I knew clearly that I was born in the wrong body. People’s hurtful comments and actions are something I have to learn to take on regularly, reflect upon, and give a lot of thought to.
I also miss the intimacy with someone whom I care and love deeply. You know… having that person to go out and spend my life with. Not just sexual intimacy, but also spiritual, emotional, and physical – the cuddles, the hugs, and the kisses. Someone I can talk to every day, and challenge my ideas etc..
However, I recognise that this is my personal journey and there is always good and bad in every situation. Accepting myself for who I am and live the life that I want is crucial as we only live once in this world.
I am who I am and I love being myself. I don’t really care what others say about me and if they find it difficult to accept me, unfortunately, that’s something they need to work on within themselves. What I can do is to continue living my life and grow stronger every day.